death and taxes are the only two certainties in life but it would be worrying if HMRC were to assume responsibility for both. Unfortunately, HMRC are unlikely to accept that being officially recorded as dead removes the obligation to pay taxes and, in any case, there would then be inheritance tax to worry about. Copied from Baker Tilly’s weekly tax brief 23 Sept 2009 Read more»
26 Sep
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Radio 4’s That Mitchell and Webb Sound recently featured a sketch about a typically overblown razor ad for the Accelerator 12-Blade: ‘The first blade shaves you close. ‘The second blade shaves you closer still. ‘The third blade sets up your internet banking. ‘The fourth blade shaves you closer still. ‘The fifth blade does your VAT receipts and puts them in an office file, not a shoebox. ‘The sixth blade…’ My thanks to Daniel at Taxation magazine for bringing this to my attention. Read more»
21 Sep
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This was a ficticious case written by the humourist A. P. Herbert for Punch magazine as part of his series of Misleading Cases in the Common Law. The case involved a Mr. Albert Haddock, who had been in profound disagreement with the Collector of Taxes in relation to the size of his tax bill. Eventually Mr. Haddock appeared at the offices of the Collector of Taxes, and delivered to him a large white cow “of malevolent aspect”. On the cow was stencilled in red ink: To the London and Literary Bank, Limited Pay the Collector of Taxes, who is no gentleman, or Order, the sum of fifty seven pounds £57/0/0 (and may he rot!) ALBERT HADDOCK Mr. Haddock tendered the cow to the Collector... Read more»
18 Sep
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This 7 and a half minute video covers the explanation of a ‘perfect crime’ – a tax fraud perpetrated by Roger Stannard – a specialist tax barrister, an accountant and a pig farmer. A successful prosecution ensued. It’s not really funny – other than that a supposedly reputable barrister who specialised in advising on tax avoidance schemes over stepped the mark. The title of this piece comes from one of the early statements by the voice-over on the video. Read more»
13 Sep
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Haven’t posted any quotes about taxation for a while so here are some more: ” I’m proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is—I could be just as proud for half the money.”- Arthur Godfrey “Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what’s called a red flag. That’s something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That’s a red flag.”- Jay Leno “Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids.”- Harvey Mackay “There’s nothing wrong with... Read more»
7 Sep
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In January 1986 the political comedy ” Yes Prime Minister” featured an episode “The Smokescreen” in which The Prime Minister, Jim Hacker, favours abolishing smoking through heavy taxation but he runs into strong opposition from the tobacco lobby and the Treasury department. The following exchange between the PM and his permanent secretary seemed especially worthy of inclusion on this blog: Sir Humphrey: Taxation isn’t about what you need.Jim Hacker: Oh, what is it about?Sir Humphrey: Prime Minister, the Treasury doesn’t work out what they need to spend and then think how to raise the money.Jim Hacker: What does it do?Sir Humphrey: They pitch for as much as... Read more»
1 Sep
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Quotes from the video below. I give my client what real accountants can’t. I’m a street accountant, I work the streets. How about a little numbers action? I’ve got certain financial needs and they can service them for me. Used calculators, dirty balance sheets, sharpened pencils all left lying around. The police can’t do anything unless they catch them performing accounting services on the street I’ve left my chartered accountant for ever. I want to be your only client. Read more»
1 Sep
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“Like most actors I have been in continuous dispute, if that is the phrase, with Her Majesty’s Commissioners of Inland Revenue ever since she came to the throne. Before that I had the same trouble with her father’s and with his father’s come to that. But I don’t wish to dwell on the subject.” - Robert Morley in his book ‘Responsible Gentleman‘ (according to Peter Vaines and Roger Nuttall in their book “The Bottom Line“) Read more»
29 Aug
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If the FD is really good, he will be headhunted – leaving a vacancy If the FD is really bad, he will be fired – leaving a vacancy If the company prospers the FD may well land the top job – leaving a vacancy If the MD dies or retires only the FD has sufficient familiarity with all aspects of the business to take over – leaving a vacancy If the company is doing badly, the FD will know first and will leave before anybody else finds out – leaving a vacancy (According to Peter Vaines and Roger Nuttall in their book “The Bottom Line“) Read more»
24 Aug
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According to this Spitting Image sketch, the Queen’s new accountants are the Marx Brothers, masquerading as: Bogus, Bogus & Fiddle. Read more»