What’s an accountant’s idea of trashing his hotel room?
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Tag: accountant
November 2, 2011
Short funny jokes-Trashing the hotel room
October 23, 2011
Hilarious jokes-From Mars
A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, “I’m a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We’re here to destroy your civilisation, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?”
The owner replies, “I don’t have an opinion. I’m a chartered accountant.”
October 22, 2011
October 14, 2011
Hilarious jokes-Retiring Accountant
A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day’s work. After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation. His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message: “Debits in the column toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window.”
October 9, 2011
Funny jokes-First accountant
Who was the first accountant?
Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry, lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.
October 6, 2011
Hilarious jokes-The Unknown Soldier
A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to “The Unknown Soldier”. At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: “Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg”.
The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name. The resident replied, “As a soldier, that Seymour was pretty much unknown, but as an accountant-Oy! He was something.”
October 1, 2011
Short funny jokes-Never ask an accountant
What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?
It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……
September 26, 2011
Accountant jokes-Shy and retiring
What’s a shy and retiring accountant?
An accountant who is half a million shy and that’s why he’s retiring.
R
September 24, 2011
Accountant jokes
What’s an actuary?
An accountant without the sense of humor.
Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
They find bookkeeping too exciting.
What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
Invite an accountant.
September 23, 2011
And you thought ICAEW was focused on accountancy….
This sign in the Gents at One Moorgate Place (Chartered Accountants Hall) always amuses me. It seems to suggest that the ICAEW is ‘bringing you energy efficient hand drying’.
