DEBITS = Desperate Executives Broken by Insider Trading EBITDA = Earnings Before I Tricked the Dumb Auditor EBIT = Earnings Before Irregularities and Tampering LOMBARD = Lots Of Money But A Right Dick CEO = Chief Embezzlement Officer CFO = Corporate Fraud Officer NABRO = Not Another Bloody Regulatory Organisation NAV = Normal Andersen Valuation EPS = Eventual Prison Sentence FRS = Fantasy Reporting Standards P/E = Parole Entitlement FIMBRA = Federation of Investment Malpractitioners and Big-time Rip-off Artists ISA = Interesting Savings Alternative ASB = Adding-up Silly Balances Any more? Read more»
9 Dec
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Three blondes are stuck on a desert island and one finds a magic lamp. They rub it and a genie pops out and gives them each a wish. the first blonde says, “I wish I was 10% smarter so I could get off of this island.” Then she turns into a redhead and swims off the island. The second sees what happens and says “I wish I was 25% smarter so that I can get off this island!” She then turns into a brunette, makes a raft from trees and sails off. Finally, the third blonde says “I wish I was 50% smarter so I can get off this island.” She then suddenly turns into a man and walks across the bridge. Read more»
9 Dec
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In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake.The hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, “Gosh… If I go down three inches … I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed.”There was a fish in the water thinking, “Gosh…if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him.”There was a bear on the shore thinking, “Gosh…if that fly goes down three inches .that fish will jump for the fly…and I will grab him.”It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich…. “Gosh,” he thought, “if that fly goes down three inches…and... Read more»
8 Dec
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What A Reply !!! Folks, just read it…you will go crazy and will laugh and laaugh and laaaugh!Enjoy!!! Cheers, SR Hilarious Reply to a Matrimonial Ad in a Punjabi newspaper!! Dear Madam: I am an older young uncle living only with myself in Amritsar . Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely. I am a soiled son from inside Punjab . I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters... Read more»
13 Aug
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So, a guy came to my hosting site to sign up. He comes on live support and says this: The Dark Assassin: Hello JohnJohn: Hi! How may I help you?The Dark Assassin: are you a ~censored~?John: Hello Dark Assassin.The Dark Assassin: are you a ~censored~?John: No I’m not. Thanks and have a great day. TDA@live.comxx.70.000.111 Then he comes on this forum and PM’s me. Excuse me? I never said that, that was not me, I have just gone to your site to sign up HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF RACISM!!!! So I ban his IP. He replies. First off, That is not my Email, Second Off, that isn’t my ip address Please un ban that ip! Read the last two lines.. Then he cries a bit more. Well I do because you... Read more»
3 Aug
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A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost “in a series of small fires.” The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued…. and won. In delivering the ruling the judge agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which... Read more»