Tag: joke
A mother in Hyderabad, India was talking to her son in typical Hyderabadi Hindi.
Mother: Tu kaiku rora? (Why are you crying?)
Son: Teacher maari merku. (The teacher hit me)
Mother: Kaiku maari re chudail ne? (Why did she hit you?)
Son: Kyonki mai usku murgi bola. (Because I called her a Hen)
Mom: Kaiku re?? (Why?)
Son: Kaiku bole toh, har exam mein anda deri merku. (Because she gave me a round egg in all the exams)
An optometrist was giving training to his new employee, explaining to her how to charge different customers.
At the time you are fitting the glasses, if the customer asks you how much they cost, tell him
– “$100″.
If his eyes don’t quiver tell him
- “For the frames. The lenses will be $25″
If his eyes still don’t quiver, just add
- “Each”
Pete, a statistics student, while driving his car, had a habit of accelerating hard before arriving at any traffic junction, zoom past it, then slow down again once he had passed it.
One day, he gave a lift to an acquaintance, who was panic-stricken by Pete’s manner of driving, and asked him what made him hurry over the junctions.
Pete replied, “If you look at it statistically, you are far more prone to have an accident at a junction, so I ensure that I spend the least time there.”
President Obama was back in Washington DC after a tour and as he got down from the helicopter in front of the White House, his staff noticed he was carrying 2 baby piglets, one under each arm.
The alert security guard salutes and says, “Nice pigs, Sir.”
Obama replies, “You are mistaking them for pigs. These are genuine Razorback hogs. I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and the other for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.”
The security guard salutes, and comments: “Brilliant trade, sir.”
A geography teacher entered the class and the children greeted in chorus: “Good morning, sir.”
The Teacher greeted them back saying, “Good morning, students. Now where were we yesterday?”
A back-bencher promptly answered, “Right here in this classroom, sir.”
On entering a lab, if you see an experiment, how will you determine which class it pertains to?
The answer is simple:
If it is green and wiggles, it has to be Biology.
If it stinks, it has to be Chemistry.
If it doesn’t work, then you know it’s Physics.
There were three friends – a lawyer, a doctor and a manager. The three of them were talking about the merits of having a wife vs. the merits of having a mistress.
The lawyer says, “It is more convenient to have a mistress. If you have a wife and want a divorce, there are all sorts of legal issues.”
The doctor remarks: “It is certainly better to have a wife as it gives you a sense of security which in turn lowers your stress and helps you lead a healthy life.”
The manager differs by saying: “I don’t agree with both of you. I think it’s best to have both. So when the wife thinks you’re with the mistress and the mistress believes you are with your wife – you can go to the office and finish some work.”
In about 50 years, Robots will be doing most of the work which human do not like to do; especially illegal robots from Mexico.
Basic Flying Rules:
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly in the edges.
What do air traffic controllers and pilots have in common?
If a pilot does a goof-up, the pilot dies.
If Air Traffic Control does a goof-up, the pilot dies.
New Federal Aviation Administration motto:
‘We’re not happy till you’re not happy.’