Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.From my purchase this chap took off ten percent.I asked for the cause of a lesser amount;And he answered, “Because of the Seniors’ Discount.” I went to McDonald’s for a burger and fries;And there once again, got quite a surprise.The clerk poured some coffee which he handed to me.He said, “For you Seniors, the coffee is free.” Understand – I’m not old – I’m merely mature;But some things are changing, temporarily, I’m sure.The newspaper print gets smaller each day,And people speak softer – can’t hear what they say. My teeth are my own (I have the receipt),And my glasses identify... Read more»
9 Dec
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A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce.” The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, “I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it, because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he’s a better lover than you.” Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheels. She says, “I want the house.” Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph. She says, “I want the kids too.” The... Read more»
21 Sep
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WHEN TO START CUSSING! A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. ‘You know what?’ says the 6 year old. ‘I think it’s about time we started cussing. The 4 year old nods her head in approval. The 6 year old continues, ‘when we go downstairs for breakfast, I’m gonna say something with hell and you say something with a$$. The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what she wants for breakfast, she replies, ‘Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I’ll have some Cheerios.’ WHACK! She flies out of her chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying her eyes... Read more»
13 Sep
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Haven’t posted any quotes about taxation for a while so here are some more: ” I’m proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is—I could be just as proud for half the money.”- Arthur Godfrey “Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what’s called a red flag. That’s something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That’s a red flag.”- Jay Leno “Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids.”- Harvey Mackay “There’s nothing wrong with... Read more»
11 Aug
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A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair eating a snack cake while her dad gets his hair cut.The barber says to her, “Sweetheart, you’re gonna get hair on your Twinkie.”She says, “Yes, I know, and I’m gonna get boobs too.” Read more»
29 Jul
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Since 2006, after the DX seemed to go extinct era, WWE got a whole new turned over audience. All of those new kids and families had not seen the “PG-version” of DX. The old era of mocking good ol’ Vinnie Mac serments. They happened not to experience the the stupid stuff hilarious jokes, the joys filled with laughter, the shocking pranks ideas regularly pulled off, the humiliation of McMahon, and the other elements of Degeneration X which made wrestling programming reach the highest points of their ratings ever. So with this 2009 re-emergence of DX, WWE is back on their usual heavyweight prime time rating status. While it’s doing great for the mass number of fans, it holds... Read more»