Lyrics:If I were an auditor, and you were a ladyWould you marry me anyway?Would you hold or trade me?If an auditor were my trade, would you still find me?Or would you always second guess me, like everybody following behind me? Save our love through loneliness,Save our love through sorrow,Would you give me sale treatment,Or tell me I was borrowed? If I worked for an audit firm, would you still love me?Answer me babe, ‘Yes I would,” you wouldn’t put the lawyers above meIf I worked a million hours, in audit, tax, or advisingWould our love grow every day, or only be amortizing? So I can document today, you mean what you say, in the story you tell.I need evidence today, to rely on... Read more»
9 Dec
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BRYAN, WILLIAM JENNINGS Some time after the presidential election of 1908, one of Champ Clark’s friends noticed that he still wore one of the Bryan watch fobs so popular during the election. On being asked the reason for this, Champ replied: “Oh, that’s to keep my watch running.” BUILDINGS Pat had gone back home to Ireland and was telling about New York. “Have they such tall buildings in America as they say, Pat?” asked the parish priest. “Tall buildings ye ask, sur?” replied Pat. “Faith, sur, the last one I worked on we had to lay on our stomachs to let the moon pass.” BURGLARS A burglar was one night engaged in the pleasing occupation... Read more»
9 Dec
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A man stomps into a bar, obviously angry. He growls at the bartender, “Gimme a beer”, takes a slug, and shouts out, “All lawyers are assholes!” A guy at the other end of the bar retorts, “You take that back!” The angry man snarls, “Why? Are you a lawyer?” The guy replies, “No, I’m an asshole!” Read more»
9 Dec
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The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?”The guy answers, “A scotch, please.”The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars,” to which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.”A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You know, he’s got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration. “The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, “Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don’t ever let... Read more»
9 Dec
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A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher’s prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success, telling... Read more»
9 Dec
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A truck driver was driving down the highway when he saw an elderly priest at the side of the road. He stopped to give him a ride.Further down the road the truck driver saw a lawyer along the side of the road, and turned the truck on a direct course to hit him.Then he thought, “Wait, I have a priest in the truck. I can’t run down that lawyer.”So at the last second the truck driver swerved to miss him.Although he thought he hadn’t hit the lawyer, the truck driver still heard a thump outside of the truck..He looked in his mirror and saw the lawyer laying unconscious on the side of the road.Ashamed for what he had done, the truck driver turned to the priest and said “I’m... Read more»