Most moms would tear their hair out in desperation when their babies won’t sleep. This is probably one the simplest and definitely freakiest ways to accomplish it. Read more»
9 Dec
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“Two old salts who had spent most of their lives on fishing smacks had an argument one day as to which was the better mathematician,” said George C. Wiedenmayer the other day. “Finally the captain of their ship proposed the following problem which each would try to work out: ‘If a fishing crew caught 500 pounds of cod and brought their catch to port and sold it at 6 cents a pound, how much would they receive for the fish?’ “Well, the two old fellows got to work, but neither seemed able to master the intricacies of the deal in fish, and they were unable to get any answer. “At last old Bill turned to the captain and asked him to repeat the problem. The... Read more»
9 Dec
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The friend had dropped in to see D’Auber, the great animal painter, put the finishing touches on his latest painting. He was mystified, however, when D’Auber took some raw meat and rubbed it vigorously over the painted rabbit in the foreground. “Why on earth did you do that?” he asked. “Why you see,” explained D’Auber, “Mrs Millions is coming to see this picture today. When she sees her pet poodle smell that rabbit, and get excited over it, she’ll buy it on the spot.” A young artist once persuaded Whistler to come and view his latest effort. The two stood before the canvas for some moments in silence. Finally the young man asked timidly,... Read more»
9 Dec
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During a rock climbing expedition, an accident occurred, as some of the grappling hooks gave way. This left the eleven climbers clinging precariously to the wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on the Mountain. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette. As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn’t happen the weight on the rope would cause more of the hooks to give way and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered. Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others. All ten blondes applauded. Read more»
9 Dec
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A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears he has already had plenty to drink and that he could not be served additional liquor. The bartender offers to call a cab for him. The drunk is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down from the bar stool, and staggers out the front door. A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over and – still politely if not more firmly – refuses service... Read more»
8 Dec
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22 Ways to Make a Girl Smile!!! 1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not fine, or sexy)2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if itsjust for a second.3 . Kiss her on the forehead.4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell herhow much she means to you.6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usuallymean the most.7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang outwith.8 . Write her notes. (she loves them)9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as yourgirlfriend.10 . Play with her hair.11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle withher.12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, orjust tell... Read more»
8 Dec
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Fake Encounter Before his daring escape from prison, an infamous criminal had been photographed from four different angles. The FBI sent copies of the pictures to police chiefs all across the land, with orders to notify Washington the moment an arrest was made. The next day, the Bureau received a faxed reply from the ambitious sheriff of a small Southern town: “PICTURES RECEIVED. ALL FOUR SHOT DEAD WHILE RESISTING ARREST.” Read more»
8 Dec
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What does LOVE mean….!! A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love mean?” The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.See what you think: “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore so my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love”Rebecca – age 8 When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”Billy – age 4 “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy... Read more»
8 Dec
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Improve your Relationship Rebuild your love life – Work on yourself first. The relationship will follow. Two broken people cannot fix each other. Do something loving for yourself today, and then come back and do something loving for your partner. Be honest with yourself – Only you can do the work that you alone need. Learning to love yourself first teaches you how to love others. Learn to love you. Only then will you have the kind of love your partner needs. Only then. Begin all over again – Begin with a fresh start. Remember when you first met and everything was great? Each of you seemed to know what to do. The relationship was everything you wanted,... Read more»
21 Sep
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WHEN TO START CUSSING! A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. ‘You know what?’ says the 6 year old. ‘I think it’s about time we started cussing. The 4 year old nods her head in approval. The 6 year old continues, ‘when we go downstairs for breakfast, I’m gonna say something with hell and you say something with a$$. The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what she wants for breakfast, she replies, ‘Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I’ll have some Cheerios.’ WHACK! She flies out of her chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying her eyes... Read more»
