A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says: “The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars”. “Why, does the parrot cost so much” asks the first man. The owner says, “Well the parrot knows how to use a computer”. The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system. Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question “What can it do?” To which the... Read more»
9 Dec
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A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, You are really ugly,” The lady was furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly,” She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly,” The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and to get rid of the bird if they didn t do something about it. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot... Read more»
9 Dec
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A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, “Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?”The parrot says, “I was born this way. I’m a defective parrot.”“Holy crap,” the guy replies. “You actually understood and answered me!”“I got every word,” says the parrot. “I happen to be a highly intelligent and thoroughly educated bird.”“Oh yeah?” the guy asks, “Then answer this — how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?”“Well,” the parrot says, “this is very embarrassing but... Read more»
12 Sep
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Wanda’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check .” “Oh, by the way don’t worry about my dog Spike. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!” “I REPEAT: DO-NOT-TALK-TO-MY-PARROT!!!“ When the repairman arrived at Wanda’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching... Read more»