Have you ever worked in an office where someone insists on listening to their voice-mail using the speakerphone (at full volume, naturally). It can really begin to bother you after a while. I found a fairly easy fix for that though. I had my wife call his phone when he wasn’t there and left this message: “Hi, this is Candy from 1-900-HOT-BABE. You haven’t paid for the ‘toys’ we sent you, you naughty boy. You wouldn’t want me to come over there and spank you, would you?” That was the last time I heard *that* particular speakerphone! Read more»
6 Feb
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Phone rings, Husband: If it is for me then say that I am not at home. Wife answered: He is at home. Shocked Husband: What the Hell? Wife: It was for me !! Read more»
6 Feb
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M sends James Bond on a secret mission to heaven. When M doesn’t hear from Bond for over a day, he gets worried and calls up heaven.The Virgin Mary picks up the phone and says “Virgin Mary speaking. “M asks her if Bond has reached there yet. She replies that he hasn’t.M waits another few hours and calls heaven back again. “Virgin Mary speaking,” comes the response. “Is James there yet?” asks M. Again the answer is no.M is really worried by this time but he waits for a few more hours and then calls heaven back again.“Hello, Mary speaking !” Read more»
6 Feb
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A blonde named Barbara appeared on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. … Regis: “Barbara, you’ve done very well so far, $500,000 and one lifeline left–phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever million dollars if you get it right…. but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000…are you ready?” Barbara: “Sure I’ll have a go.” Regis: “Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it…A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo or D-Thrush Remember, Barbara, it’s worth 1 million dollars.” Barbara: “Oh, gees, that’s simple…. it’s a cuckoo..” Regis: “You’re... Read more»
6 Feb
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Mr.Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: “I have great news: I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody.”The next day, Mrs.Sharma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the electricity bill hasnot been paid. “Am I speaking to Mrs.Sharma ? ““Yes…… speaking”AEC guy, “You’re a month overdue, you know!”“How do YOU know?” stammers the young woman.“Well, ma’am, it’s in our files!” says the AEC guy .“What... Read more»
9 Dec
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A frog telephoned the Psychic Hot line and was told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you.” The frog said, “that`s great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?” “No,” said the psychic, “next semester in her biology class.” Read more»
8 Dec
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Secrets of Love . Secrets of LoveThe First Secret – The Power of ThoughtLove begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about others and ourselves. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize her when you meet her. The Second Secret – The Power of RespectYou cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect asks yourself, “What do I respect about... Read more»
8 Dec
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Love Tips LovE tiPs 4 girLs Do something he would probably never expect – Send “Him” flowers! Spend intimate time with him. No television, no telephone, no computer, just you and him. Always respect him. Respect is one of the things men treasure the most in relationships. Touch him affectionately: put your hand on the small of his back, run your fingers through his hair, using your fingertips, lightly trace the inside of his forearm. Tell him he is “handsome,” “rugged,” and “strong”, try not to use “cute.” Surprise him with a candle-lit dinner. Tell him that you feel safe when you’re in his arms. Encourage him... Read more»
18 Sep
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A Florida man was busted after stealing $8 worth of flea and tick drops to buy crack. Cops arrested the man and are also on the lookout for Cocker Spaniel drug dealer. Yesterday, a government watchdog group released a list ranking cellphones in terms of radiation they give off.The phone with the lowest amount of radiation- the Samsung Impression. The phone with the highest amount? The Uranium T-Mobile Sidekick. Fashion designer Emanuel Ungaro has hired Lindsay Lohan as its artistic adviser. Lohan’s hiring is part of Ungaro’s new plan to reach the elusive “coked-up basket-case” market. Read more»
14 Sep
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1. Samoa Joe, one of the top wrestlers in TNA, gave an interview to Penthouse magazine where he talked about pranks ideas that wrestlers play on one another during backstage. When asked if he’d ever had a prank played on him, he responded. 2. Alex Shelley is Chris Jericho. NO! Don’t dispute this, don’t talk about his attitude backstage. I don’t care. Alex Shelley can cut an effortless promo and wrestle. That is very rare. He is your Chris Jericho and gets pushed into the main event. I don’t particularly care what happens to Chris Sabin. 3. Samoa Joe is your Stone Cold. Or was. I don’t know if you can build him up after what you did to him, but he should have been and should be the... Read more»