How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? How many would you like it to be? How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? What kind of answer did you have in mind? How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? Hmmm….let me run a few numbers and get back to you…. How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it and one to make sure it was done within budget And lastly, my favourite: How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he’ll have 1500 of them to do on 31st January. (This response was suggested by Adrian Higgs) Read more»
8 Mar
Pity poor Trevor Bell. HMRC sent him 90 letters, each charging £100 penalty. Trevor, who owns Trevor Bell Construction Limited, recently changed the name of his business and had notified HMRC of the changes. But each letter stated that 31-year-old was in arrears with the company and that he had to pay the tax for the sub contractors he employed. As soon as Trevor alerted HMRC, they admitted the mistake and they said they would put it right. Three days later Trevor received the apology, those of us who are familiar with the dealings of HMRC, might have both feared and expected. He received a further 90 letters, all stating that he owed nothing! Read more»
3 Mar
The Daily Mash published a wonderful satirical article yesterday. Here are some highlights: VOTERS across Britain have expressed outrage at Lord Ashcroft’s ability to avoid more tax than them. The billionaire Tory donor has used his non-domiciled status to lower his tax bill by an estimated £127 million leading to demands he conduct a mass tutorial at Wembley Stadium using short, simple words and an easy-to-follow Powerpoint presentation. Julian Cook, an economist at Madeley-Finnegan, said: “Lord Ashcroft is one of around 60 million people in Britain who want to pay less tax. “He does this by hiring an accountant who reduces his tax bill by as much as is legally possible,... Read more»
2 Mar
Worth watching right to the end, even beyond the post dance interaction between the accountant and the judges. Read more»
1 Mar
Here’s a link to a sound file of the half hour radio episode first aired over fifty years ago on 4 November 1956. Tony Hancock receives a tax demand for £14 12s 3d re ten years’ back tax. He refuses to pay as that represents 50% of his income over the period! (Even fifty years ago this would have been a tiny amount!) so he goes to see the Inspector – played by Kenneth Williams. The inspector tells Hancock that he can’t just pay the outstanding tax, they have to haggle a bit. He also says that most people ignore his letters. Once they’ve been ignored twice he ignores the taxpayers! He also recommends that Hancock should go to see a Chartered Accountant “you’ll... Read more»
12 Feb
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Lyrics:If I were an auditor, and you were a ladyWould you marry me anyway?Would you hold or trade me?If an auditor were my trade, would you still find me?Or would you always second guess me, like everybody following behind me? Save our love through loneliness,Save our love through sorrow,Would you give me sale treatment,Or tell me I was borrowed? If I worked for an audit firm, would you still love me?Answer me babe, ‘Yes I would,” you wouldn’t put the lawyers above meIf I worked a million hours, in audit, tax, or advisingWould our love grow every day, or only be amortizing? So I can document today, you mean what you say, in the story you tell.I need evidence today, to rely on... Read more»
12 Feb
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Richard Curtis, the Deputy Editor of Taxation magazine has outlined a tax related film script on the Taxation blog. The inspiration for this idea being the other Richard Curtis who has moved, temporarily, into the world of tax with the Robin Hood Tax. Richard (from Taxation) suggests that Four Funerals and a Wedding: “…will be a laugh a minute slapstick comedy based in a fictional Exchequer department in the swinging (as in swinging from one idea to the next) tax capital of the world, London. The plot will be based around politicians and Treasury officials who seek to outdo each other with ever more outlandish tax plans, which then require ever more outlandish schemes to sort out... Read more»
11 Feb
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Pity poor Cherry Reynard. On her birthday she received a letter threatening her with fines if she didn’t produce a certain document. In fact she had sent them the document in question a month before and it had got lost within HMRC’s office. As Cherry reports: The (perfectly nice) lady I spoke to said that apparently my original letter had contained an all-important blue slip. The internal mail system only recognises blue slips, rather than, say, people’s names. My failure to include the blue slip had resulted in my carefully packaged 35-page document entering a postal abyss, never to be seen again. While I recognise that not understanding the importance of the blue slip was... Read more»
8 Feb
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Not sure which country’s tax return guidance publication this is in. More likely it’s a gag! Read more»