Daily Giggles

Two Irishmen fresh from Ireland had just landed in New York and engaged a room in the top story of a hotel. Mike, being very sleepy, threw himself on the bed and was soon fast asleep. The sights were so new and strange to Pat that he sat at the window looking out. Soon an alarm of fire was rung in and a fire-engine rushed by throwing up sparks of fire and clouds of smoke. This greatly excited Pat, who called to his comrade to get up and come to the window, but Mike was fast asleep. Another engine soon followed the first, spouting smoke and fire like the former. This was too much for poor Pat, who rushed excitedly to the bedside, and shaking his friend called loudly: “Mike, Mike, wake up!... Read more»

Clang, clatter, bang! Down the street came the fire engines. Driving along ahead, oblivious of any danger, was a farmer in a ramshackle old buggy. A policeman yelled at him: “Hi there, look out! The fire department’s coming.” Turning in by the curb the farmer watched the hose cart, salvage wagon and engine whiz past. Then he turned out into the street again and drove on. Barely had he started when the hook and ladder came tearing along. The rear wheel of the big truck slewed into the farmer’s buggy, smashing it to smithereens and sending the farmer sprawling into the gutter. The policeman ran to his assistance. “Didn’t I tell ye to keep out of the way?”... Read more»

An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and walked out with 19 Dollars. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and but was handed only 18 Dollars. He asked the teller why he got less money than he got last week. The teller said, “Fluctuations.” The Asian man stormed out, but just before slamming the door, he turned around and said, “Fluc you Amelicans too!”  Read more»

An American businessman is in Japan. The Japanese businessmen take him out, get him drunk, and send him upstairs with a hooker. As he’s screwing her, she starts screaming, “Nashagai ana! Nashagai ana!” He’s going, “Yeah, baby, take it all…” He keeps pumping, and she keeps screaming, “Nashagai ana! Nashagai ana!” The next day he’s playing golf with one of the Japanese guys, and he slices the ball, and it goes way off to the right. The Japanese businessman says, “Nashagai ana.” The American asks, “What does that mean?” The Japanese replies, “Wrong hole.”  Read more»

A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week. “Next Sunday,” she said, “we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark.” The following week, at the beginning of the class meeting, the teacher said, “Now then, all of you who have prepared for the lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please step to the front of the room.” About half the class rose and came forward. “The rest of you may leave,” said the teacher, “these students are the ones I want to talk to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark.”  Read more»

10 Least Popular Halloween Candies 10. Bit-O-Squirrel9. Poisonettes8. Good n’ Sweaty7. Middlefinger6. Della Reese’s Pieces5. Clam Duds4. Baby Ruth Bader Ginsburg3. Gummy Marrow2. Ken Starrburst1. Osmond Joy  Read more»

MISTRESS (to new servant)—”Why, Bridget, this is the third time I’ve had to tell you about the finger-bowls. Didn’t the lady you last worked for have them on the table?” BRIDGET—”No, mum; her friends always washed their hands before they came.”  Read more»

To modernize an old prophecy, “out of the mouths of babes shall come much worldly wisdom.” Mr. K. has two boys whom he dearly loves. One day he gave each a dollar to spend. After much bargaining, they brought home a wonderful four-wheeled steamboat and a beautiful train of cars. For awhile the transportation business flourished, and all was well, but one day Craig explained to his father that while business had been good, he could do much better if he only had the capital to buy a train of cars like Joe’s. His arguments must have been good, for the money was forthcoming. Soon after, little Toe, with probably less logic but more loving, became possessed of a dollar to buy a steamboat... Read more»

An old artisan who prided himself on his ability to drive a close bargain contracted to paint a huge barn in the neighborhood for the small sum of twelve dollars. “Why on earth did you agree to do it for so little?” his brother inquired. “Well,” said the old painter, “you see, the owner is a mighty onreliable man. If I’d said I’d charge him twenty-five dollars, likely he’d have only paid me nineteen. And if I charge him twelve dollars, he may not pay me but nine. So I thought it over, and decided to paint it for twelve dollars, so I wouldn’t lose so much.”  Read more»

It is said J. P. Morgan could raise $10,000,000 on his check any minute; but the man who is raising a large family on $9 a week is a greater financier than Morgan.  Read more»